Anonymous said: Dearest Man, my darling husband and I recently recovered from a mild cold this past week. While I was uncomfortable, I found that the daily pressures of keeping house and tending to the children made it difficult to rest—and yet, my darling beloved was laid absolutely low, near death's door, by his own reckoning. Can you explain to this tender-hearted female why it is that men seem to be stricken with such severity of ailments? Is there such a thing as a "Man Cold?" —Perplexed in Portland
A “Man Cold”? Oh, dear. No wonder you are perplexed; this is not how language works. One never labels the male version of things as a “Man” thing. One only labels the female version of the cold. Male is assumed; male is default. Women, although half the population, must be assumed to be an aberration.
Now, having established proper nomenclature, we may discuss the “Lady Cold” that you experienced. Clearly, as a Female, it was your duty—and, I am sure, your pleasure—to administer to your husband. Your “Lady Cold” is proof that you are all that is godly and natural.
And what could be more natural than to have you serve a man who wished to take a well-deserved rest from the hustle and bustle of every day life? Yes, Perplexed, give thanks that your robust constitution allowed you to do your duty as wife—to serve your husband in his time of malingering.